A road trip through the United States and their craziest sex laws

EroticFeel 6/17/2021

If the restrictions, the masks and the social distancing are getting you down, perhaps you should organise a trip to ‘the land of the free’! Perhaps some aspects of ancient law, such as swearing on your testicles in true Roman style instead of on the Bible should be revived for their effectiveness. However, there are some bonkers laws that could turn your Route 69, pardon me — Route 66 — into an adventure of the craziest kind. So, before you renew your passport, please take note.

Some things are just common sense; can you buy a sawn-off shotgun at the supermarket? Of course you can! But if you’ve stuffed yourself with onions, garlic or sardines, then it’s best to partake in activities that involve keeping your mouthed closed. In Minnesota, they know better, and that's why sex is forbidden if your breath stinks. Three cheers for Minnesota! It's also prohibited to have sex with a live fish in this great state. We're not sure if this is because a lot of people got too excited out after seeing the Little Mermaid or because too many Nemo posters were sold.

In Minneapolis, it's illegal for a man to fire a gun while his wife is having an orgasm — which we think is just fine. You can't have your cake and eat it! And in Nevada, they have seen it fit to pass laws to prevent any member of the legislative team from disguising themselves as a male member during a hearing. Seems perfectly reasonable — remember what happened with the lawyer and the cat filter?

Speaking of cats, in West Virginia, a man may have sex with any animal — as long as it doesn't weigh more than 18 kilograms. We assume this is to allow for freedom of movement. In contrast, South Carolina considers oral sex inadmissible, and in Michigan, it's punishable, along with sodomy, by up to 15 years in prison. As you can see, there's different ways of looking at things.

Are you aroused by the idea of a sexy encounter with a truck driver? Well, watch out, because in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it's illegal to do it in toll booths and it's also illegal to do the deed with a trailer driver inside a phone box. And remember, if you go to Massachusetts you can be prosecuted for having sex with a rodeo clown in the presence of horses — so watch out for that too!

Wrapping things up, and to emphasize the fact that human stupidity has no limits, in Arizona, you’re not permitted to have more than two sex toys at home... And, finally, we know this isn't about sex, but we feel we must warn you anyway. If you're passing through Chicago, don't stop to eat in a place that's on fire — it's forbidden.

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