Between the International Day of Proud Zombies, Bring Your Dog to Work Day, Croquette Day (all our respect), or Hashtag Day (we've definitely gone nuts), we miss some like International Day of "Weekend at Bernie's" (best movie ever - a dead man with sunglasses, please!), International Day of Kidney Colic (careful, no jokes about cholesterol), or International Day of Being Late for Work and Saying You Got Stuck in Traffic. But there's a day when the sun shines brighter, your alarm clock doesn't annoy you, your toast comes out just right, and the office brew they call coffee actually tastes (almost) good. Not a pimple or a threat of dismissal can spoil it, because as Barbara Bush said (we promise not to quote her again), "A man can forget where he parked his car or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Women, being a bit more demanding, need it to be good not to want to forget it.

There are only (as far as we know) two people who have experienced more misfortune than pleasure due to the benefits of oral sex: Bill Clinton and Tony Soprano. For everyone else, happy International Oral Sex Day!

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