“Many, many years ago, in the distant lands of the Orient, there was a virtuous prostitute loved by all for her ability to bring a man to the most powerful orgasm with the movements of her vagina alone”. This is how the story, which seems to be straight out of 'A Thousand and One Nights', begins. We’re talking about the ‘The Singapore Kiss’, also called ‘Kabzah’ or ‘Pompoir’ — an ancient oriental technique derived from tantra in which the penis is stimulated exclusively with the movements of the pelvic floor muscles.
Be warned: it’s not easy. At least, not for everyone. If you’re a vaginal gymnast or pilates expert, you may find it straightforward, otherwise you'll need to do a bit of training before starting out. But hey, if Alicia Vikander can transform into Lara Croft, you’ll have the Singapore grip under control in no time at all!
What is the Singapore grip?
The Singapore grip is when, during penetration, the female contracts and relaxes her vaginal muscles — simulating suction and controlling the pressure applied throughout the act. The sensation experienced will be similar to that of oral sex. Besides the vaginal muscles, the abdominal muscles can also be used to provide deeper penis suction. Ideally, the woman should be on top in the cowgirl position, but instead of moving up and down, both partners must stay still; she takes control by using her vaginal walls to stimulate his penis.
What’s the key to being able to perform this technique? Have a sufficiently toned pubococcygeus muscle to be able to grip the penis. Don't worry if this sounds strange, we'll give you a step-by-step explanation of how to locate and strengthen this muscle.
What are the origins of the Pompoir grip?
Legends aside, what does seem to be clear is that the Singapore grip has been around for over 3000 years and can trace its origins back to Asia — and more specifically to India. By all accounts, the technique found its way to Thailand and Japan and was perfected over time. And, it's said that the Geisha took it to the next level by not only using their vaginal muscles, but also their abdominal muscles for greater suction. The Singapore grip, known in Arabic as ‘Kabaza’ and in French as ‘pompoir’ has transcended centuries and borders and now promises to intensify the pleasure of those seeking to enhance their sexual relations.
What are the benefits of the Singapore grip?
Although at first sight, it may seem that the Singapore grip is exclusively geared towards male pleasure, however, this is not the case. Yes, itl certainly intensifies the male’s pleasure and his orgasm, but it also enhance the female’s orgasm by activating the most sensitive parts of her vagina. What's more, toned pelvic muscles ensure longer and deeper orgasms, improve the quality of sexual intercourse and boost the vagina's natural lubrication. In fact, a weakened pelvic floor leads to problems such as pain or diminished sensitivity during sex.
How is the Singapore grip performed?
- If it’s your first time, the best position in which to perform the Singapore grip is 'cowgirl', i.e. the man lying down and the woman straddling him. She sets the pace and intensity of the encounter. Remember that proper lubrication is key to ensuring that penetration is neither uncomfortable nor painful.
- Both partners must keep still and the woman stimulates his penis by contracting and relaxing her vaginal muscles.
- The woman focuses on moving her pubococcygeus muscle by inserting his glans penis first, squeezing it and then releasing it. Take it one step at a time; the rhythm must be slow and steady.
- Penetration will now become more intense: move from the glans to the middle of the shaft and then to deep penetration. Vaginal movements should be constant: squeeze, hold and release.
- Here comes a tricky part: once you've engaged in deep penetration, slide his penis to the outside of the vagina and quickly slide it in again to repeat the process from the beginning.
Strengthen your pelvic floor
As we'll explain at the end of the article, the pelvic floor must be trained before the Singapore grip can be performed. This is where Kegel balls and Ben Wa balls come into play. The first thing you need to know is that a weakened pelvic floor doesn't just make your sex life worse, it can also lead to other problems such as urinary incontinence and prolapse. Earlier we talked about the pubococcygeus muscle, which is the main muscle on the pelvic floor. It’s hammock-shaped and runs from the pubis to the coccyx, surrounding the urethra, vagina and anus. The pubococcygeus is also known as the 'love muscle' because when strengthened, it increases arousal and the intensity of orgasms.
Guide to start doing your Kegel exercises:
- Locate your pelvic floor. If you find this difficult, the next time you're sitting on the toilet, stop urinating midstream — those are your pelvic muscles. Only use this technique to find them; performing these exercises while urinating is unhealthy and increases the risk of developing a urinary tract infection.
- Tighten your muscles.
- Hold the contraction for a few seconds — try not to squeeze your abdominal or buttock muscles.
- Release the contraction and relax your muscles.
- Repeat. It's best to do three sets of 10 to 15 reps a day.
- Get yourself a set of Kegel balls with different weights. They will make your training easier. Put them in as you would a tampon and simply walk around with them in for 15 minutes a day. You’ll soon notice their effects.
Ready to be a goddess? In 3000 years, legends may speak about your extraordinary powers!
Image: still from the film 'Career Opportunities' - 1991, Bryan Gordon.