Don't fear the prostate — spread your cheeks and save your life

Sara Martínez 11/20/2020

It takes balls to talk about the prostate — as small as a walnut, as hidden as a mobile speed camera; so pitiful that it's only talked about when it hurts, and so unseemly that it's only reached through the darkness of the anus. You only have to hear the term 'rectcal examination' and the alarms bells ring, all emergency exits are illuminated. So, they think they're going to shove a finger up yours? This hole is marked exit only! You fearful macho types will stare at Jennifer's butt, at Kim's butt and at Cardi's butt. However, when your butt finally gets the attention it deserves — even for medical purposes — you wimp out like a mummy’s boy! We always wait until it's too late. That's why you proudly refuse every invitation for a preventive exam until the burning sensation is unbearable and only four drops of urine and a trickle of blood come out of your urethra. It doesn't look good.

Each year in the UK about 47,600 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer. And still many men refuse to undergo a simple examination due to embarrassment or just plain apathy. This painless and rapid test is essential for the detection of any anomalies and an early diagnosis. However, the resistance is such that urologists have been forced into carrying out awareness campaigns to reassure men that “a rectal exam does not modify one's sexual preferences”. Rest assured that a finger in the bum will not suddenly turn you into Elton John's biggest fan and have you fantasising over muscular cowboys wearing tight, leather chaps. "It does not change a man's tastes and it's not harmful to health nor dignity". It's important not to leave any room for doubt — your manhood is not at stake, only your life. Stay calm.

Prejudices are not exclusive to any particular region — they have no boundaries. Nevertheless, the figures demonstrate that the countries with the highest survival rates also have the most widespread diagnostic tests. In the UK, around 47,600 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer each year and it has a 5-year survival rate of 85%. The vast majority of tumours found in the early stages are treated successfully. No medical examination is pleasant, no woman plans a fantastic Friday afternoon of shopping, friends and a smear test. You go because you have to go and that’s it. The same must happen with a visit to the urologist.

It was Hollywood actor Mel Gibson who was proudly said in an interview with Spain's ‘El Pais’ newspaper, “They take it up the ass, this is only for taking a shit”, while pointing to his own posterior. Real men only penetrate women; only women and queers are penetrated — that's the thinking. Difficult to change? Perhaps. Nevertheless, we've have had blind confidence in society's ability to transform itself since we left behind guillotines, burning witches and Mel Gibson's own movies. Familiarize yourself with your body, the prostate is just another organ. It can get sick, inflamed and infected. However, it can also take you to heaven — a heaven that doesn't just have to be the reserve of those lucky 'sodomites', 'faggots' and 'queers'. Indeed, if you do visit — you'll not want to return to your old place of fear ever again.

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