At this stage of the game, anal sex is as transgressive as Alaska or Ramoncín. It no longer breaks anyone's mind when a series alludes to the subject or when your friend tells you that she had anal sex last night. Or it shouldn't. Now we know that not everything revolves around intercourse, that vaginal penetration is not the only valid way to have sex and that pleasure has many paths. The truth we were told was not true. So if you have been enjoying anal sex for years, congratulations. This post, moreover, is not for you, you can move on without fear of losing sagging to the next one. But if a few years ago you thought it was unthinkable, you were afraid, ashamed, you thought it wasn't for you or that your sex life was fine as it was and now you are thinking about opening your body to new and very pleasant experiences, we can only shout out loud a ¡viva! and give you all our support in the form of wise advice. This, comrade, is all you need to know to get started with anal sex.
The first thing we should be clear about is that the anus is a space of pleasure common to all of us. We all have one and, leaving aside absurd comments that allude to its physiological functions as an argument to convince us that it is a dirty or undesirable place, it is full of nerve endings that treated in the right way will bring us a great pleasure (sorry, it's better to say without paragon). Ready to deploy a range of exceptional sensations? Here we go.
What do you need if it's your first time having anal sex?
A desire. It seems obvious but it's not always the case. I guess you'll be aware that it's the first and most necessary thing you need when embarking on any sexual practice. This is not like that commitment birthday or getting up for work, we do this for fun and enjoyment. If you don't feel like it, it's not your time. No 'come on, do it for me' or similar blackmail.
Now, don't let fear ruin your best orgasms. Forget fears and taboos, it hurts, it doesn't have to. Of course, if the area is not sufficiently relaxed and lubricated and you suddenly get penetrated, yes, it hurts. So how do we avoid it being painful? Lots of lubricant, lots of arousal beforehand and no rushing.
Always use a condom
Do you have to use a condom for anal sex? The answer is yes, and for more than one reason. During anal sex the only danger that disappears is that of unwanted pregnancy, but you can still contract sexually transmitted diseases such as chlamydia and gonorrhea and, although the risk is lower than with vaginal penetration, HIV transmission is also possible.
In addition, the use of condoms prevents contact with bacteria found in fecal matter. If these bacteria come in contact with the vaginal mucosa the probability of contracting bacterial vaginosis is very high. Use one condom for anal penetration and a new one for vaginal penetration, or wash thoroughly before moving from one orifice to the other. You'll see what's more comfortable.
Specific lubricant for anal sex
Lubricant, lots of lubricant. That's the secret to amazing and pleasurable anal sex. The anus, unlike the vagina, does not lubricate naturally and, moreover, its opening is much narrower. So don't skimp on a good lotion specifically designed to moisturize, hydrate, relax and dilate. How much should you use? As much as you need, until the friction is gone and everything is slippery.
It wouldn't even need to be commented on, but if your fantasy is to recreate Last Tango in Paris, forget it. Rape and butter, please -- homemade tricks don't work and saliva dries out, remember. Luckily, the market offers lots and lots of safe possibilities that fall into three major groups: water-based, silicone-based, and mixed lubricants.
Water-based anal lubricants are great for beginners, do not damage condoms or erotic toys made of silicone, are light, silky and easy to clean. The silicone ones are usually more durable and are water resistant (if you are looking for a silicone one compatible with latex condoms bet on the brand pjur). The mixed ones like pjur Power Premium Cream are intended for harder practices (give yourself time).
How to get started in anal sex step by step
- Alone or with a partner, first stimulate the rest of your erogenous zones until you reach a very high level of arousal (just the one where your head gets cloudy and you don't care about anything anymore).
- Lubricate now the external part of the anus using your fingertips and making circular movements.
- No rushing. Very slowly and when the area is relaxed and lubricated we start with the dilatation. For this we recommend a good anal plug (small and conical shaped toy designed for this purpose). Insert it very slowly. If you prefer to do it without toys opt for fingers, first one, slowly, and then another.
- When the person receiving stimulation is ready, you can move on to penetration with the penis. Again, no thrusting in all at once. And if it hurts, stop. More of a sprint than a sprint is a long-distance race, he who comes first does not win.
The best positions to get started in anal sex
- There are some positions that facilitate the practice of anal sex and are more comfortable to get started than trying to do the pine bridge.
- The spooning is the most recommended for the first times. How is it done? Both of you lying down facing the same side. It facilitates stimulation and promotes intimacy.
- The missionary but upside down: this position is very comfortable. The one who is going to be penetrated lies face down and the one who is going to penetrate lies on top of him. When the penetration progresses and everything flows, this position allows a quick change to the 'doggy style'.
- The reverse horsewoman: one lies on his back completely stretched out and the other sits on him with his back to him and resting his hands on his partner's legs.
Our tips for having anal sex for the first time
- If you do it with someone you trust a lot, it will be easier to forget about fears and embarrassment.
- Extreme hygiene. The enema is optional, but wash the area properly before starting.
- Use plenty of lubricant.
- Remember that you don't have to go all the way the first day, it can be progressive.
- It is necessary to stimulate the rest of the erogenous zones beforehand to reach a very high level of arousal.
- Once you move on to the anal area, resort to fingers or small anal plugs to dilate little by little.
- If it hurts, it is best to use the fingers or small anal plugs to dilate little by little.