Vaginal, clitoral or faked. You can enjoy plenty or fake one so convincingly that you're left alone for a while. How many tears have been shed? How many moans, screams, frustrations and lies over something so simple? It’s something as natural as life itself. In a memorable Seinfeld episode, Elaine confesses to Jerry that she faked every orgasm during the duration of their relationship. “It wasn’t you, I just didn’t have them back then”, she explains. What ensues, of course, is the display of a man obsessed with his sexual prowess (his poor battered ego!). 'It's easier for them', 'we need more time', 'we don't always get there'... claptrap! Distractions, guilt, shame, fear and not knowing enough about our own pleasure and bodies; those are the real reasons why we waste our time recreating 'When Harry Met Sally' instead of enjoying real leg-shaking, mind-blowing esquisite 'petites morts' that make us feel alive. Yes, orgasms in the plural — as many as your body can take.
What are multiple orgasms?
Multiple orgasms comprise of various successive orgasms in the same stimulation session or during the same sexual act. And, although it's more common among women, it's also possible in men. The phases of arousal were outlined by Masters and Johnson in a pioneering study of human sexual response: arousal, plateau, orgasm, resolution, and refractory period. The refractory period, which only occurs in men, is the recovery time required after ejaculation to regain an erection.
There is no refractory period for women, although they may experience hypersensitivity in their genitals, which may make stimulation uncomfortable. The climax may also leave you feeling so relaxed and satisfied that, frankly, you don’t feel like playing on. Perfect. But you ought to know that if sexual arousal is still present after a female orgasm, further orgasms can indeed follow.
Some sexologists make a distinction between multiple orgasms and sequential orgasms. Multiple orgasms occur when the stimulation continues after the first orgasm and subsequent orgasms follow. Sequential ones, on the other hand, are those that occur when there is a short break between one and another. Technicalities aside and before we get into the nitty-gritty, we must make a small clarification. Experts assure us that, in the case of men, ejaculation and orgasm do not always have to go hand in hand. And it would be this ability to reach climax without ejaculating that allows men to enjoy several consecutive orgasms while skipping the refractory period (see Sting's sexual escapades).
Tips for having multiple orgasms
You may not be able to cook a roast quite like your mum, but if you buy the same ingredients and follow the same steps, you'll be closer to glory. From there on, it's all a matter of practice. It's not a mathematical formula.
Get to know your body
According to a 2019 study by LELO, the Swedish sexual wellness brand, 76 percent of women reach orgasm whenever they masturbate. This percentage drops to 46 percent when they have sex. Is this significant? Very. It's about knowing your body, exploring gently, and finding out exactly what you like, how you like it, and where you like it. This is a must in order to enjoy your sexuality alone and in company. Which brings us to the next tip.
Combine different kinds of stimulation
Try out different caresses, different rhythms and intensities (here the help of a sex toy comes in handy). Mix up clitoral stimulation (essential) with vaginal and anal penetration, nipple caresses... There are also positions that favor multiple orgasms for couples. ‘Superdrug’s Online Doctor’ is a British website specializing in sexual health. According to them, the winners in order of preference are: the cowgirl (position yourself on top so that you can control the pressure on your clitoris and the motion); missionary (here it’s important that your bodies remain close together so that the clitoris is stimulated); doggy style; 69; and the ‘prone bone’ position (penetration happens while you lie on your stomach with your belly resting on the bed).
Daily Kegel exercises
The connection between a toned pelvic floor and a more pleasurable and healthy sex life is more than proven. Strong vaginal muscles don't only lead to more orgasms, but also more intense and long-lasting orgasms. Do Kegel exercises daily (contract and relax those muscles that control the flow of urine). You can also use some Kegel balls, which will make the job easier. Use them for 15 minutes a day while doing any other task.
Slowly but surely
You’ve had your first orgasm, now what? Keep stimulating yourself. Keep massaging your clitoris, fantasizing, watching, playing, or anything else that keeps your arousal soaring. At this point, a mild water-based lubricant will be very useful. It will counteract the hypersensitivity of the genital area after orgasm by facilitating sliding, eliminating friction and preventing irritation.
The best toys for multiple orgasms
Sex toys can be of tremendous assistance with the goal you have set for yourself. They can help you achieve more and higher quality orgasms. Our advice is to always use your favourite toy — alone and as a couple.
Clitoral suckers: guaranteed success
This is nothing new, but clitoral suckers are so effective at bringing you to climax that they are used by sex therapists in cases of anorgasmia. Browse through its different intensities, stop at the right moment, take a breath, and place it back on your clitoris. Combine suction with caresses, oral sex, penetration, and don't let the excitement subside.
Rampant rabbit vibrators: double stimulation for multiple orgasms
And now let's talk about one of the best-selling toys of all time. Rampant rabbit vibrators are perfect for complete stimulation: vagina, G-spot and clitoris simultaneously. It hits your major erogenous zones at the same time to guarantee orgasms and comes highly recommended by users.
To sum it up: get plenty of practice, find out which kind of stimulation drives you wild, communicate with your partner, and remember — don't obsess. A watched pot never boils.