Anal sex awakens both curiosity and rejection; if that weren’t the case, how else could you explain the number of philosophical-existential comments on the topic? Yes, questions such as ‘is it an exit or an entry hole?’ (if we were fans of emojis, we'd probably insert 'confused face' here). Add to that the huge number of internet searches on the subject and we're left in no doubt of its relevance to our own lives. It’s clear that many of us like to play innocent.
The fact is that, leaving aside macho prejudices and fears rooted in myths and misinformation, anal is extremely pleasurable that everyone can enjoy. The only key? Stretch the anus well. Be patient and use the right tools to avoid the pain and discomfort of a penis or dildo being forced into a startled anus.
If you're keen to discover all the pleasure your body has to offer, to immerse yourself in this sexual practice (the third most widely performed in the world after intercourse and fellatio) and to open yourself up to new sensations — you've come to the right place.
Why is anal training important?
Because the anal muscles are very strong. The anus consists of two sphincters: an internal sphincter with involuntary nervous control, i.e. it opens and closes automatically; and an external sphincter with voluntary control. And penetrating the anus without knowing how to relax your muscles in this area is not the best idea. It may cause you to reject something that, if done correctly, is a whole lot of fun. That's why stretching the anus is important, and we'll explain how right here.
It's worth noting that dilating the anus is not only essential for painless and comfortable stimulation, but also contributes to pelvic floor health. How so? Well, this is because the anus forms part of the pelvic floor muscles. In order to learn how to relax your anus, you’ll have to perform a series of exercises that will help tone up the whole area. One more perk to add to the list of benefits.
Does lube help to stretch the anus?
The quick answer is: of course! An anus is not a vagina, neither does it dilate nor lubricate naturally like a vagina. Therefore, it's very important to use the right amount of a suitable lubricant when it comes to stimulating this part of the body. Forget about those old-fashioned, potentially infection-inducing methods such as using oils, butter or saliva (which instead of lubricating, dries out and cracks the skin), and instead opt for one of the wide variety of anal lubricants available on the market.
These include silicone lubricants such as Pjur Back Door Relaxing, which is enriched with jojoba to relax and make the skin in the area much more supple. There are also water lotions such as Pjur Analyse me! Comfort Water, containing hyaluron to soften and protect the skin; organic lubricants such as Bioglide Anal, made with 100% natural and vegan ingredients, or serums to reduce sensitivity without numbing such as Pjur Back Door Anal Comfort Serum. They are not only perfect for moisturising, but also for soothing and expanding the musculature without the need for local anaesthetics such as lidocaine or benzocaine.
Once you've chosen the one that best suits your tastes and needs, spread it generously around the anus. Use your fingertips and massage it in delicately using circular motions. Ideally, you should start the stimulation bit by bit and very gently. If you use toys later, remember that they should also be properly lubricated. Also, be sure to use a lubricant that will not damage the material. Find out about the best anal lube in the following article.
Stimulate it during foreplay
As Amarna Miller explains in Jot Down magazine, 'Train your body for anal pleasure', you must reach a high level of arousal before engaging in anal exploration. Everyone has their own way of achieving this. Amarna uses a powerful vibrator to stimulate her clitoris, others prefer manual caresses, oral stimulation, or even perform a backbend (we don't judge here!). The aim is to get your libido through the roof before moving on to the next step.
Stimulation or anal sex does not necessarily involve penetration, and certainly not from the outset. There are many other things you can and should do first. Some people reach orgasm by mixing anal and genital caresses; others really enjoy using anal toys while giving or receiving oral sex. The possibilities are endless.
It's a simple premise: lavish caresses. To the anus? Of course — don't you want it to stretch and give you all the pleasure it has to offer? Well, there you have it. The greater the excitement and the more time you spend stimulating it, either alone or with a partner — the more it'll dilate and allow new stimuli to enter.
Perform anal training exercises
Now chill, this isn't about going for a run at seven in the morning or crying through a CrossFit class twice a week. We call it anal training because you need to exercise these muscles in order to learn to relax. The best approach is to start alone; explore your body carefully, discovering the sensations you like and dislike.
You’ll be pleased to know that, the shower is the perfect place to start — it’s warm, convenient and there are no clothes to get in the way. The physio and sexologist Marta Torrón explains this in an article by journalist Celia Blanco in an interview in the Spanish newspaper El País: “Open it with one of your fingers. Slowly and gently; open, hold for a second, then release. By performing this exercise of contracting then relaxing the muscles in the anus in that one-second rhythm, you are replicating what happens to during an orgasm”.
Do you prefer to do it in bed? Apply lubricant and insert a finger into your anus and massage in circular motions until you feel it starts to expand enough to add the next finger into the mix.
Can I use toys to stretch my anus?
Anal stretching toys are the next step in your training. Many are specially designed for this purpose, featuring shapes and dimensions suitable for comfortable insertion. There are a range of sizes available to easily and gradually stretch your anus. Usually, when we hear about anal toys, we think of big vibrators, dildos or prostate stimulators. However, before reaching that point, you should start experimenting with butt plugs, anal beads or toy designed to stimulate, stretch and increase the pleasure during sex play. Would you like to find out more?
With a conical shape, i.e. a narrow tip that gets progressively wider, the plug is the king of anal stretching. They're made of hypoallergenic medical-grade silicone, non-porous glass and even polished steel. Some even go for a touch of extravagance with coloured gemstones, diamonds or animal tails. Like all sex toys designed for anal insertion, they have a safety stopper that makes them easy to remove and prevents the plug from taking a trips through the bowels. So far so good.
Silicone is kinder to the body, more flexible and softer to the touch — perfect for starting out. Always begin with the smallest one. Lubricate both your anal area and the toy beforehand and slowly insert it. As well as stimulating all the nerve endings in the area, it'll gradually dilate your sphincters. Wear it at work or alone at home. You can even leave it on while you do your daily chores to get your muscles used to it. Some people set their own workout schedules: the first day fifteen minutes, the second day thirty and so on... When the first plug can be inserted easily, you can move on to a second slightly longer one and repeat the exercise. Remember that sphincters are robust and dilation should be progressive. Be patient and get down to work. Here’s a guide on how to use a butt plug.
Just in case you haven't heard of them yet, these are structures for anal insertion made up of chains of spheres that gradually increase in size. Naturally, just like all other toys (perhaps with the exception of those that have the right shape to stimulate the prostate),anal beads are universal: for him and for her; for tall people and for short people — for anyone with an anus.
Are they suitable for anal stretching? Of course they are! And, you'll soon find out how they increase the pleasure and strength of your orgasms. Load up with a good lubricant and slowly push each bead into your anus. The gradual increase in size helps to make insertion comfortable and easy. Try this set of two Satisfyer medical-grade silicone anal beads.
Want a tip? Use them while masturbating, while being masturbated or while you're being intimate in any way. When you feel an orgasm coming on, pull out each ball one by one, synchronising the movement with each spasm.
And here we are at last. Keep in mind that the anal dildos are at the end of this article because before you get to them, you must have gone through the previous steps. If you do try to insert a 30 centimetres King Cock in an unstretched anus, you will be in for quite an unpleasant surprise!
Once you've experimented with smaller toys and stimulated your anus enough, then yes — it's time for these fantastic articles! You'll find dildos and vibrators made of different materials and in different sizes and they all come with a safety stopper. They're perfect for anyone with previous anal play experience. Get a good lubricant, get turned on and enjoy yourself to the fullest!
Our tips for successful anal stretching
- Choose a good anal lubricant and don't skimp on the quantity.
- Relax and remember that the anal muscles are very strong and need time and care to be stretched.
- If this is your first experience, explore alone — perhaps in the shower — insert a finger to open the anus, hold it there for a second and then release it.
- Use the lubricant to relax the anal area by applying it with your fingertips in a circular motion.
- Insert a sufficiently lubricated finger and make circles.
- Use anal stretching toys such as butt plugs and anal beads.
- Always start with smaller ones and set yourself training times: leave the plug in for 15 minutes one day, 30 minutes the next... and so on until inserting and wearing it is so comfortable that you can move on to a larger toy.
- Forget prejudices and shame, it's your anus, isn't it? Well, throw it a party!